JOBS JOBS JOBS!
by Blood red nin
Summary: Tsunade's drunk and doing paper work...need I say more? Warning: Extreme OOCness and randomness and an inner Gaara! No pairings, but lot's of fun!
1. Chapter 1

**READ THIS IT'S IMPORTANT! Yes I have returned with a new story! I hope you all enjoy this one! Please review! I must warn you about OOCness and randomness! It's what I do! Enjoy!**

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Jobs:**

**Chapter #1:**

It was a dark Saturday night. The duties of the Hokage were getting to be overwhelming for Tsunade-sama. Forced to stay confined to her small office; Tsunade-sama had been forced to drink the contents of her emergency sake bottle.

"Hokage-sama?" A young woman with asks coming in to the room.

"H-hai?" Tsunade slurs focusing in on her apprentice Shizune.

"Here…I think it's the last of the missions for today." Shizune says cheerfully before leaving.

Tsunade growls at the paper work and picks up the scroll that Shizune had just left.

"Missions…what the heck?" Tsunade says, very drunkenly (A/n: don't know if that's a word) as she reads (or tries to) the scroll.

"So let me get this straight…" Tsunade starts, apparently, talking to no one. "I have to place the genin in a workplace for a day…?" she mutters trying to focus in on the characters written on the scroll. "Easy enough"

**The next day:**

Team 7 were waiting for their sensei at their usually meeting place.

"Yo!" a masked jounin says as he appeared out of no where.

"You're LATE!" A blond boy and pink haired girl accuse loudly pointing.

"You see there was this…" the jounin starts.

"LIAR!" They scream. The masked jounin sighs and rubs his head.

"Well we have some important missions to do today." Kakashi says to his students.

"REALLY?" Naruto, the hyper active blond, yells.

"Yep, but these missions are a little different then what we usually do." He says holding a finger up.

"How are these missions any different?" Sakura, the pink haired girl, asks.

"Are they more dangerous?" Sasuke, the quiet one, finally speaks up.

"It depends on how you look at it." Kakashi says smiling behind his mask. "Here."

Kakashi throws each of his students a different scroll.

"Ano sa Ano sa…what are these?" Naruto asks staring at his scroll then looking to his sensei.

"You will be placed in a workplace for a day. Your missions will be done separately." Kakashi explains.

"WHAT?" Naruto cries. _"Now I can't impress Sakura –chan…"_

"Great…" Sakura sighs. _"Now I can't impress Sasuke-kun…"_

"…" Sasuke doesn't say anything. _"Now I can't impress…wait…I don't need to impress anyone -_grin-_ I'm special…at least that's what mom told me…grrrrrrrrrrr…MUST KILL ITACHI!"_ Sasuke crumples up his scroll in his vow of revenge.

"Now read your scrolls and then report to where ever it tells you to go, ja ne." Kakashi disappears in a puff of white smoke while reading Icha Icha paradise.

The three kids look at their scrolls, then at each other, and then back to the scrolls. Sakura, who was growing impatient, hurriedly rolled her scroll open.

"HA I've been assigned to teach preschoolers! This mission will be a synch!" Sakura exclaims. Inner Sakura-_"HELL YEAH!"_

"Aaa Sakura-chan got such a great job. Now to see mine!" Naruto opens his scroll with a wide grin. He excitedly reads the scroll until…"NANI?" he screams in horror.

"What is it Naruto?" Sakura asks looking concerned at the blond's sudden outburst. Even Sasuke looked at Naruto concerned; as the bewildered team mates watch the blond go paler and paler.

"WHO ASSIGNED US THESE JOBS ANYWAY?" Naruto yells to the sky.

"Tsunade herself." a voice that sounded like Kakashi's says out of the blue.

"WHAT'S THAT OLD BAG PLAYING AT?" Naruto yells in fury flailing his scroll around.

"What job did you get?" Sakura asks trying to avoid getting hit with the wild scroll.

Naruto shoves the scroll towards her. With a raised eyebrow Sakura took the scroll and read it. She suddenly burst out laughing.

Sasuke who was itching to know what Naruto got, but on the other hand too cool to ask; Sasuke took the scroll from Sakura who was now rolling around on the ground laughing and turning a unhealthy shade of blue. Sasuke read the scroll and tried not to laugh himself.

"A librarian? You gotta be kidding me." Sasuke says trying to contain himself.

Naruto was seething with rage. No one even knows if Naruto had ever stepped in to a library in his life. Rumor has it he entered it once, only to run out screaming about how the silence burned his ears.

"I don't even read books…" Naruto complains crossing his arms. Sasuke opens his own scroll and puts it right up to his face so he could read and laugh about Naruto's misfortune with out losing his angst status. As Sasuke reads he grumbles seeing his own misfortune.

"What'd you get?" Naruto asks hoping Sasuke's was worst then his.

"Here…" Sasuke mutters thrusting the scroll to Naruto.

(Oh and if you're all wondering where Sakura is…she's still laughing.)

Naruto reads for a few seconds and then pouts childishly.

"So? All you gotta do is watch a bunch of whiny kids." Naruto says giving the scroll back.

"What'd I miss?" Sakura asks standing up. She was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes and clutching her stomach from laughing.

"Sasuke's a babysitter." Naruto says.

Sakura frowns.

"Don't be mean about it! I'm being a teacher too." Sakura says furrowing her brow at Naruto.

"Sakura…I'm seriously a babysitter." Sasuke shows her the scroll.

This is what it looks like:

**Name: Uchiha Sasuke**

**Team: #7**

**Occupation: Babysitter**

**Mission objective: **

**Watch the toddlers of Kunoichi who are doing missions for the day.**

**Nakama for this mission: Gaara of the sand**

**Number of children you will be watching: 15**

**Location: Konoha's children house**

**Time: 11:30 – 6:00**

**Signature of approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature here)**

"Oh…" Sakura says reading Sasuke's scroll.

"It's better then mine." Naruto exclaims shoving his own scroll under Sakura's nose.

**Name: Uzumaki Naruto**

**Team: #7**

**Occupation: Librarian**

**Mission objective: **

**Watch library while head librarian is sick.**

**Stock shelves**

**Tell people who are loud to be quiet**

**Enforce the no eating policy**

**Make sure all books are accounted for at end of the day**

**Punish those with late fees**

**Make sure everyone abides to rules**

**Nakama for this mission: None**

**Number of books in library: 793923**

**Location: Konoha Library**

**Time: 11:30 – 6:00**

**Signature of Approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature here)**

"Well mine shouldn't be that bad…why are you complaining anyway Naruto? All you have to do is check out books." Sakura scolds.

**Name: Haruno Sakura**

**Team: #7 **

**Occupation: Pre-school instructor**

**Mission objective: **

**Take over for teacher who is going through serious therapy sessions at the moment**

**Continue children's education in basic reading and writing.**

**Offer moral support**

**Establish a self-esteem lesson**

**Do not allow sugar in the class room**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Number of children: 19**

**Location: Konoha happy helpers preschool**

**Time: 11:30 – 3:00**

**Signature of approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature)**

"Not fair! Sakura-chan gets off earlier then we do! Being a librarian sucks…you realize I have to count all those BOOKS! I hate counting even more!" Naruto exclaims sadly crumpling his scroll in his hands.

"Well we should go…it's 11:15 now." Sakura says looking at her watch.

"Fine…" Naruto whines.

"Later." Sasuke says walking off towards the Konoha children's house.

"Bye Sasuke-kun! Gambate good luck!" Sakura calls. "Bye Naruto." she says simply running towards the direction of the Konoha Happy Helpers pre-school.

"Bye Sakura-chan…this sucks…" Naruto mutters walking towards his mission and worst enemy…BOOKS! (dun dun duuun)

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Yay it's finished! Please ignore anyspelling or grammar mistakes for I was half dead half alive when I wrote this...(It was very late at night)Read and Review and don't flame me! The next chapter we get to see the other teams and their jobs! Ja ne!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…if I did…the characters would murder me for torturing them with my sense of humor.

**Chapter 2:**

**Yeah Chapter 2! Thanks to all who reviewed. I got a e-mail the other day from my friend. Apparently Fanfiction no longer allows (or tolerates…whatever you want to call it) writers to answer their reviews. I was like "Wtf?" So if you get an e-mail, please sign the petition. I like answering my readers fics! They have so many nice things to say! Since I'm a chicken and don't want my stories to be taken off; I'm sorry to say I won't be answering reviews until further notice –_tear-. _However I will list those who do review and Give them each a little note of thanks. **

**Reviewers: **

Ash's Girl

Scorpion05

Foxtail-Inferno

**THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

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Elsewhere with Gai's team:**

"Good morning my students of bubbling youth and energy!" Gai greets his team with his usual good guy pose.

"Good morning Gai-sensei!" Lee responds saluting his sensei.

Neji merely leaned on a tree watching his sensei and team mate babble about youth and what not. Then Neji noticed something was missing.

"Oi, Gai-sensei? Where's Tenten?" Lee voices Neji's question.

"Unfortunately the power of youth was not enough to fight away the flu bug. Tenten is ill today." Gai says sighing deeply.

"THAT'S AWFUL! We should go and show our support to her!" Lee exclaims.

"Ah Lee…always thinking of others…I'm so proud…" Gai says bringing an arm up to his eyes and wiping tears away. Neji groaned (yes I know it's very un-Neji-ish).

Neji was about to disagree. These two would just make Tenten more ill. Then Neji would be stuck alone with them for even longer. Neji swore not to allow that to happen. He was about to voice his opinion when Gai intervened.

"As much as I wish we could; we can't." Gai states as he shakes his head sadly. Neji sighs in relief as Gai continues. "We've been assigned a new assignment from Hokage-sama. You two will be gaining experience in a world where ninja skills are not required!" Gai says.

"A mission using no ninja skills? How is that possible?" Lee asks gazing intently at Gai-sensei.

"You will be entering the magical world of…Careers!" Gai says smiling broadly.

"Careers?" Neji asks turning so he is fully facing his sensei.

"Hai! Here are your assignments. You will be separated, so do your best! Remember; The power of youth!" Gai says going in to pose before disappearing.

"YES GAI-SENSEI!" Lee yells saluting to where Gai had disappeared.

Neji opened his scroll and opened it. His eye began to twitch as he read.

**Name: Hyuuga Neji**

**Team: Gai's team (**A/N: I don't know their number

**Occupation: Door to door salesmen**

**Mission Objective:**

**Sell as many cosmetics as possible**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Number of sales needed to complete mission: 5 (or more)**

**Location: North Konoha district. **

**First report to _"Bidi-san's cosmetic store,"_ to acquire uniform and products.**

**Time: 11:30 - 4:00 **

**Signature of approval**

**(Insert Tsunade's Signature)**

Neji…a door to door salesman? THE great Hyuuga Neji…genius of the Hyuuga clan...ASALESMAN? and not just any salesman...a COSMETICS salesman!

Neji crumpled his scroll up. What had he done to deserve this? Was god still punishing him from when he almost killed Hinata?

The north Konoha district…

"Shit" Neji muttered.

"What's wrong?" Lee asks.

Neji just hands him the scroll. He was too enraged and embarrassed to speak.

"Here you read mine." Lee suggests handing Neji his own scroll. Neji opened Lee and began to read.

**Name: Rock Lee**

**Team: Gai's team (**Look to Neji's scroll for explanation)

**Occupation: Caretaker**

**Mission objective:**

**Satisfy your subordinates and patients**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Location: Sunny lane (something has been smudged by a drop of sake) house**

**Time: 11:30 – 5:00**

**Signature of approval**

**(insert Tsunade's signature)**

"What's wrong with being a salesman?" Lee asks handing Neji his scroll back.

"Do you realize who lives in the north district?" Neji asks. Lee just shakes his head. Neji is about to answer, but decides it's best to keep quiet. "Never mind" Neji says shaking his head.

"I have to go to some house…and take care of it?" Lee says questioningly looking to the smudge; trying to make out what it might've said.

"It's 11:10 right now, we should go…" Neji says still glaring at his scroll.

"Roger! I'll see you later then. Ja ne!" Lee says disappearing immediately.

Neji reads his scroll one more time before making a move to leave.

"Of all days…why couldn't I be the one who's sick today…?" Neji thinks walking very slowly to _"Bidi-san's cosmetic store."_

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Hooray! Chapter 2 is finished! Please review . They always make me titter with happiness! Especially if you don't flame me! Hope you enjoyed it! Ja!**


	3. Chapter 3

Jobs Jobs Jobs

_Chapter 3_

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

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"WHAT!" a voice screeched through the clearing. 

Asuma groaned as he uncovered his ears.

"You heard me Ino." He said inserting a finger in his ear and trying to get his hearing back.

"I'm ALLERGIC to manual labour!" Ino cried reading the scroll her sensei had just handed her.

**Name: Yamanaka Ino**

**Team: 10**

**Occupation: Construction worker**

**Mission Objective: **

**Help out the construction workers and learn about architecture**

**Nakama for this mission: None**

**Location: Construction site in Konoha's east side.**

**Mission objective: **

**- Report to head office to require safety equipment and training**

**Time: 11:30 – 3:15**

**Signature of approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature)**

"You're so troublesome…" Shikamaru mutters.

"So? What job did you get?" Ino growls turning to her lazy companion.

He merely shrugged and placed his hands behind his head.

"I didn't bother to read it. It's too troublesome" He stated yawning as he pulled his scroll out.

"Give me your scroll Shikamaru!" Ino commanded grabbing it from him.

Ino read it for a few minutes before shrieking in rage.

"You got an easy job you lazy ass! Asuma-sensei are we allowed to trade?" Ino whined looking to her sensei. Asuma, who was still trying to get his hearing back, took a few minutes to answer. Chouji merely watched the scene munching on potato chips.

"Huh? Oh…nope sorry Ino. Tsunade herself assigned you guys these jobs. Trading wouldn't be wise." He said lighting up a cigarette and taking a long drag.

"But I can do Shikamaru's job way better then the one she assigned me." Ino said flashing the scroll at Asuma who took it and read it.

**Name: Nara Shikamaru**

**Team: 10**

**Occupation: Motivational speaker**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Location: Konoha's 'Get up and go' Group house**

**Mission Objective:**

**- Help people become motivated. **

**- Issue and organize a daily activity that will enhance and help ones self esteem. **

**Time: 10:00 – 1:30 **

**Tsunade's signature of approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature)**

Asuma grunted and dropped his cigarette before gingerly stomping it out on the grass.

"I can't do anything about it Ino. Besides, this is your mission. If you're going to be a ninja you have to do anything and willingly. If you back out now you will fail the mission and it will be recorded." Asume explained.

Ino groaned in frustration.

"If I break a nail or so much as loose a hair…" Ino grumbled before walking away; dreading every step as she got a little closer to Konoha's east side.

"What a troublesome girl…" Shikamaru muttered as soon as he knew it was safe. Ino's wrath was the last thing he needed to deal with. His new mission was troublesome enough already.

Chouji sighed and folded his bag of potato chips up; which surprised the hell out of Asuma and Shikamaru.

"Is something wrong Chouji?" Asuma asked simultaneously. For Chouji to not finish a bag of potato chips was a very strange event indeed. Was the apocalypse coming?

"Hm?" Chouji asked looking to his shocked teacher and friend.

"You didn't finish the last chip…" Asuma started.

"Oh this?" Chouji asked indicating the bag in his hand. "I have to save some room. My job is going to be very filling." Chouji explained.

"You're job?" Shikamaru questioned. Then it dawned on him. "Don't tell me they placed you in a-"

"Yep." Chouji smiled broadly as he handed Shikamaru his scroll. Shikamaru took it and began to read. Asuma glanced over Shikamaru's shoulder to read the contents as well.

**Name: Akimichi Chouji**

**Team: 10**

**Occupation: Chef**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Location: Konoha's all you can eat bed and breakfast**

**Mission Objective: **

**- Assist the chefs and help prepare meals for one day.**

**Time: 10:30 – 5:00**

**Tsunade's signature of approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature)**

Shikamaru sighed.

"At least you didn't get a troubling job…" Shikamaru said handing the scroll back to Chouji.

"Well it's about 9:45." Asuma said glancing up at the sun before looking down to his students. "You better hurry up or you'll be late."

"Yeah….yeah…I shouldn't of bothered coming today." Shikamaru muttered walking beside Chouji, who was for once anxious to do a 'troublesome' mission.

Asuma sighed and grinned watching them walk away.

"They don't realize how lucky they are…soon they will be placed in even more dangerous missions…"

Asuma just coughed before taking a long drag on his cigarette.

"Oh well. I wonder if Genma will be in the staff room today…I want to try out that shogi strategy Shikamaru used on me the other day. I have to get back at him for hiding my cigarettes the other day."

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Hooray! Another chapter done. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! 

Ash's girl

Scorpion05

Foxtail-Inferno

Kunoichi 008

Kazekage shad

DarknessReigns4ever

You guys make me feel special!

It took me forever to think up a job for Ino. The next chapters going to be Cell 8. Keep those reviews coming! Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes (I'm sleepy so I don't think straight; which is probably the reason for my weirdness.) I know it was a little short, but as soon as I introduce everyone and their jobs, hopefully, things will get under way.Please don't flame me I'm sensitive…seriously I cry over throwing paper away (well I used to...)


	4. Chapter 4

Jobs Jobs Jobs

_Chapter 4_

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"SO let me get this straight…" A boy with a small dog on his head spoke up after recieving a scroll given to him by his sensei. "We just have to go to a workplace for a day?"

"That is correct Kiba." The red eyed jounin said nodding at her students.

"HAH! Piece of cake! Akamaru, we can do this mission with our eyes closed." The boy barked out grinning widely.

"Ku-Kurenai-sensei? How did T-Tsunade-sama decide on th-these j-jobs?" A timid brunette asked stuttering slightly at ever few words she spoke. Kurenai's gaze rested on the nervous girl causing her to flinch slightly. Kurenai's gaze softened.

"Tsunade-sama thought long and hard about where to place each genin ( -_cough- _yeah right –_cough_-). I have full confidence in all of you to complete these missions with out failure. So don't worry about it Hinata." Kurenai said softly.

Hinata blushed slightly and nodded before opening and reading her scroll. Hinata made a strange little sound as her eyes fell on her scroll.

"Oi…what's wrong Hinata?" Kiba asked walking over, with his own scroll unopened and clenched in his hand.

"I-it's just…" Hinata started.

Kiba took the scroll from her and read:

**Name: Hyuuga Hinata**

**Team: 8**

**Occupation: Sales clerk**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Location: 'Sugar water Crystal shop'**

**Mission Objective: **

**Assist the manager in running their facility while their employee is on their day off**

**You will learn customer service skill and the history of glass blowing**

**Time: 10:15 – 5:00**

**Tsunade's signature of approval: **

**(Insert Tsunade's signature)**

"Aw man! That's a dull job…Ah you'll do fine. I bet our job is going to be awesome! Right Akamaru?" Kiba grinned looking up towards his companion.

**Bark! Bark!**

Kiba was about to open his scroll when he noticed Shino had gone rigid…wait a minute! Shino going rigid? That couldn't be a good sign!

"Sh-shino-kun? What's wr-wrong?" Hinata asked noticing Shino's strange (stranger then usual) behaviour.

"…"

"Your job can't be that bad…" Kiba muttered as he walked over and peered over Shino's shoulder. Kiba read the scroll:

**Name: Aburame Shino**

**Team: 8**

**Occupation: Exterminator**

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Location: Bug busters! North west Konoha drive**

**Mission Objective: **

**Help the citizens of Konoha deal with their pests problem**

**Time: 11:00 – 2:30**

**Tsunade's signature of approval**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature here)**

"Aw man…Shino…that totally sucks for you man…" Kiba says placing his hand on Shino's shoulder.

"…"

"I-I'm sure you-you'll do fine Shino-kun…Maybe you won't h-have to d-do anything. I do-don't think many people i-in Konoha ha-have pest problems…" Hinata said trying to get a reaction out of Shino.

"…I suppose…" Was all Shino said before walking away from his team.

It was almost 10:00 anyway. It would take Shino almost half an hour to get to the north west part of Konoha anyway.

"Well Akamaru. Let's see what we got." Kiba said grinning broadly as he opened his scroll.

As soon as Kiba read the first part his face fell and his happy expression was replaced by rage and horror.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" He bellowed dropping his scroll like it was something disgusting.

Hinata looked at the open scroll on the ground and read:

**Name: Inuzuka Kiba**

**Team: 8**

**Occupation: Taxidermist **(1)

**Nakama for this mission: none**

**Mission Objective: **

**Help Konoha's resident Taxidermist with his annual sale**

**Time: 10:30 – 4:00**

**Tsunade's signature of approval:**

**(Insert Tsunade's signature here)**

Akamaru whimpered and jumped in to Kiba's jacket.

Hinata was just speechless.

"Ki-Kiba-kun?" She asked uncertainly.

"This is probably the stupidest mission ever." Kiba muttered darkly glaring at the scroll.

Hinata couldn't think of any comforting words to say to him.

"G-good luck Kiba-kun, b-but I have to g-go…" Hinata said timidly before turning and leaving the area.

"Kiba." Kurenai said turning to her angry pupil.

"Yes Kurenai-sensei…" Kiba muttered finally tearing his eyes away from the scroll.

"You better go or you'll be late." Kurenai said sternly, but her eyes held a sense of remorse for her disgruntled student.

"fine…" Kiba said shoving his hands in his pockets.

Akamaru whined again and nuzzled Kiba's chin.

"Don't worry Akamaru…we'll figure something out." Kiba said before walking off.

Kurenai picked up Kiba's scroll, and read it before she shook her head.

"Hokage-sama…what were you thinking?" Kurenai said sighing. "The jobs aren't bad…but couldn't you have mixed them up a little?" Kurenai asked herself before walking towards the village. Kurenai was also very interested in knowing what her fellow jounin's had to say about the genin's missions.

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(1) **Taxidermist:** Hunters usually bring their 'prize' to a taxidermist; who is the person who stuffs and preserves dead animals. 

A/N: It's kind of scary because I did this career matchmaker survey and my number 1 job was a taxidermist…I was so devastated. I love animals! FUR IS MURDER! I'm such a hippie…

I think this is one of my quickest updates yet! Now that everyone has been assigned a job...the fun begins! Hopefully the next chapter will be out just after New years or even before if I get a chance to write it. So thanks for reading!

Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes.

Quick Replies:

(I know I said I wouldn't do this anymore, but it's just faster especially for answering questions)

sasukeandrockleelvr: I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much for reviewing!

DarknessReigns4ever: Thank you! Hopefully, once the story gets rolling, it'll get better. –_places hand on heart_- I pledge to make this story one of my best! Gaara will be coming up soon .

Yarochisai: LOL! I wouldn't worry about the kids too much. Gaara will definitely have his moment…-_evil grin_- As well as Sasuke…-_evil cackle_- . you'll find out soon. Yeah I couldn't think of a job Shikamaru would be horrible at, and I couldn't help but give him a job he probably would fail miserably at . Oh and Nakama means something like 'companion' or 'team mate' or 'buddy' it's something along those lines. Thank you for reviewing!

aya-is-insane: -_looks at last chapter- _Oopsmy bad.Thanks for pointing that out!

Thanks for all your reviews! SQUUEEEE (my excited sound) they make me so happy. Therefore when I'm happy I'm motivated (Shikamaru mode gets turned off) So don't hesitate to review, but **DON'T** flame me (I'm sensitive…)


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